At the age of 7 I knew the one thing I wanted to be was a Mom.
At the age of 34 I still hadn't met the all elusive knight so I decided to go it alone.
Now I grew up on a small dairy farm in Michigan; when I was about 4 years old my younger brother and I were playing inside the milk house as my Grampa walked by leading a GIANT bull. Right as they got to the door this bull "smacked" (repeatedly) my Grampa up against the side of the building. My Dad heard my screams, came around the side of the building, grabbed a hammer and hit the bull (repeatedly) between the eyes. (For those of you who fear for the bull, trust me, it took numerous hits with a hammer to even get his attention). When my Mom heard of this episode all bulls were forever banned from the farm. Thus began my introduction to artificial insemination.
I tell this story because I feel it helps to set the stage to aid in understanding the following conversation I had with my Dad. I feel my recollection of the following conversation with my Dad truly were the first steps to Motherhood.
I called my Dad late one night asking for a large sum of money; I'd heard of a pregnant young woman who was thinking about placing her unborn child up for adoption. I thought if I had all the money necessary for her prenatal visits, hospital bills, etc. that I might have a chance to adopt this baby. I remember crying on the phone to my Dad about how I just wanted to have a child; it was my Dad;s turn to cry when I said to him, "Just imagine Daddy what your life would have been like without Ellsworth (my brother) and me".
My Dad asked me if this is what I truly wanted; I remember telling him that what I really wanted was to bear a child. He then said that this is what I should do. Next Dad told me that I should not rely on the "kindness" of my male friends (turkey basters only) but should have a child using donor insemination. I still remember telling him that the Daddy Handbook says you are not suppose to encourage your single daughter to get pregnant.